Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Just when...

... I start thinking that it is time to jump off a cliff, if only to end up in the hospital for a few days of sleep, Baby has a decent nap.

What a sporadic good/bad sleeper I have on my hands.

All I could think of while I rocked him to sleep today was: SO WHAT if sleep experts think babies should fall asleep on their own. Even though my bad back is getting worse, even though I don't get anything done, and even though I am just as often resentful of having to put him to sleep - I get to hold his beautiful, sleeping little body in my arms and rock, rock, rock. Love, love, love.

Only about 90% of the time does my mind wander to another little boy who might have liked to rock.

Is it possible for the soul to burst with love for two boys; one very much the light of our lives and one the gaping hole in our hearts?

5 comments:

Mrs Macgyver said...

Any parent with more than one child (living or not) asks that question. How can your heart hold so much love for more than one precious child? But it does, and you don't have to love one less...

What confuses me is that all my boys have looked so alike at birth that I now can't look at my older sons without seeing what Laurent might have looked like. These boys that I have known and raised for years before losing Laurent, yet now, at times, I can only see him in them.

Glad to hear you got a good nights sleep. I've found that it's almost impossible to let Li'l Miss settle herself. I know she needs to learn, but I need to be able to hold her and rock her, while she is still young enough to allow it!

Julia said...

Of course. In whatever order they come.

Catherine said...

Absolutely.

Ruby said...

Absolutely.

Carole said...

Absolutely!
~Carole
http://thejourneyfromhere.blogspot.com
http://accordingtocarole.blogspot.com