Monday, April 16, 2007

Stuck? A little.

My grief counsellor called to check in today. She and I are friendly (she knew my husband before we ever went to her for help). We had a nice little visit - it was good to check in.

When she asked me how things were going and how I was doing, I just said we were doing well. Which is fine - it's true. But with regards to my grief: it is still there. Obviously. She knows that, and I know that.

How many times can you really say the same thing? I miss C. And I stare at his brother, sometimes, and wonder how alike they would have been. The same? Polar opposites?

I look at that sweet, chubby, peach-fuzzy, little cheek and I remember staring at another such cheek.

But, then, she already knows that. I've said it all before.

How many times can you really say the same thing over and over and not have it sound boring and redundant?


mommy2miracles said...

as a mother who has also lost a child to hear another mother say they love and miss their child is never redundant.

i know i find myself saying it over and over again and wondering if anyone else thinks i've said it too many times already. i wonder if they understand that saying it for the 200th time is like saying it for the first time. like the pain, the love never gets dull...

Angela said...

It's so true. Every time I say it, I mean it just as much as I did the first time the words left my mouth. The emotions behind those words never change, no matter how many times.

Rosepetal said...

It's not boring and redundant. It's just that you're getting used to it always being there and it never going away. ((hugs))

Lori said...

I remember writing in my journal at one point something along the lines of, "There is nothing left to say. I am still sad. I still miss them. There is nothing left to say." And after that, I didn't write in my journal for a long time. I think maybe I thought even my journal was becoming bored with me.

But no, to those of us who understand, you can never say it too often, or too much.

kate said...

what everyone else said....don't want to be boring and redundant, you know ;)