Okay, I admit it...

...we peaked. So now we are looking at only one half of the baby name book. I know I am just teasing you all with this, but I am not at the point where I can share what I saw. It's mine and I need to hold on to this information and roll it around in my heart and my mind. No one knows what we saw besides the tech, me, and my husband.

I needed to know. I needed to be able to bond with this kid as much as possible, as soon as possible. I was so angry that I didn't know gender when we found out C. was to be born dead. All that time that I could have been knowing my baby as a little boy that was wasted. He was gone before I knew he was a boy. We all have our weird regrets, and that is one of mine.

We two parents will talk it over and come to some sort of decision if I spill the beans here. Right now, I can't. We most certainly will not be telling any of our family or friends out here in Realville. It sort of goes hand in hand with my current state of avoiding all conversations pregnancy related. In a way, it is sort of mean to have this information and not share it with the people who care. But they don't know we know.

There are a lot of things that we know that they don't know.

This is getting all confusing and espionage-y. Forget it.

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In other news, I am thinking that the time has come to join msfitzita in fighting to get some Canadian recognition of Oct. 15th. And perhaps it is time to address the stillbirth certificates issue, too. I could organize a letter writing campaign for my neighbourhood, couldn't I?

Somebody smack me - refer to below post. I am too tired for this. But I can certainly write a letter to my Immeasurably Stupid MP and get him to jump on the October 15th bandwagon of msfitzita's MP's private member's bill. Of course, the government might be defeated shortly and the bill might die on an order paper, but that's beside the point. One of these years, if we stick at it long enough, it might just sneak through and become legislation.

Then, I must write a letter to my Immeasurably Stupid MLA re: Stillbirth Certificates bandwagon, etc. etc. Any other Canadians out there would like a serving of activism with your pumpkin pie, now is a great time to get some recognition for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness in your community. Remember, the general public sees BabyLoss as something that happens to someone else. The only way MPs and MLAs (MPPs) will ever consider advocating for something like BabyLoss is if they get it from all sides.

I am stepping off the soapbox now.