Well, the kicks are starting to be just a little less random now. I cannot express how much I love the kicks. But that does not negate the fact that they just feel weird. Weird-good, but weird. And Babe has a deadly aim when it comes to my bladder (and this is only the 16th week).
Secondly, a cause for concern. I have pain in my right hip, which is severely exacerbated by sleeping on my left side. What do we all know about right-side sleeping? I know the left is best, but is the right okay? Since I am relatively convinced that our son died sometime during the night, I have something of a fear of sleeping. According the the research of Dr. J Collins, the mother's blood pressure drops at about 2 a.m., which results in less blood pressure in the umbilical cord. So I am willing to attempt to sleep through abject pain in my hips if left-side sleeping is required. Of course, the Babe is really small right now, so cord compression isn't a huge worry for me quite yet (just a nagging fear). But, from experience, I know this hip thing isn't going to get any better.
Interestingly, the one thing that is causing me the most anxiety is having the general community start to find out about this pregnancy and stop me to wish me congratulations. Yes, I realize that this is something normal and nice, but it gives me anxiety attacks. And my acting is terrible - I can't look the person in the eye, I give one-word answers, I take the first avenue of escape. I wish I could be more normal about this. I wouldn't say, exactly, that I am afraid of people jinxing things with their naivete, but I think that may be the problem. If they pretend like everything is normal and don't acknowledge the fact that things may be precarious, I am annoyed. If they say something about how things may be precarious, I am annoyed. The general public can't win with me. I guess I just don't want to talk about something so precious to me with relative strangers. I can hardly bear to talk about this baby with my immediate family. There are about 3 people that I can comfortably talk to (in real life) and the rest cause me anxiety.
And finally, the whole "mother-to-be" and "father-to-be" phraseology is annoying to me. I believe that a person becomes a parent at the moment of conception, not at the moment of birth. Especially the mother (sorry Dads), since she has to take special care of herself for 9 months on behalf of the new little life.
Don't I sound grumpy? I'm not a grump - I just play one on my blog.
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2 comments:
Hee hee hee....i thought i was the only one who remembered that commercial in its complete absurdity...
I don't know about the right side thing. Email Dr.Collins & ask him. I am serious, he is a really nice guy (though busy so a response might not happen). I talked to him in an Missing GRACE conference call, they have them every month and Dr. Collins has been on there at least twice that i know of. I am trying to find the link or the email for you...
You may feel like a nutcase, but trust me, you are exactly 100% right and normal. I think right side sleeping is okay as long as you do spend some time on your left side (perhaps easier when napping?). Maybe when you catch yourself on your back or right side, switch to your left, but don't panic--it would be pretty impossible to stay in one position for too long!
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