It must be the absolute desolation that exists in some part of our hearts, as grieving parents, that causes outbursts in blog comments. Or is it the relative anonymity of the internet that allows us to type things that we would never, ever say. Or is it just the nature of blogs?
I have recently commented on a few posts that I felt were important for me in my journey of grief. I honestly make every attempt to maintain a non-hostile tone in any comment that I make. But I know that it is so easy to misread and misunderstand TONE in anything that is written. The reader just doesn't know me, so I guess it can be pretty easy to feel like I am attacking them or their principles, when really I promise that I would almost *never* do that.
I did once, and promptly went back and apologized. It isn't my place to write offensive attack comments on someone else's blog. So trust me, my comments are always meant with the utmost of respect for the initial blog writer and for other commenters.
There is something about anonymity that bothers me (very hypocritical, I know, since I have made every attempt to keep my true identity secret for this blog). Here is one of the reasons why:
When I first began my career, I was working sometimes 16 hour days. I was in a blur of trying to understand the scope of my job, trying to see where I fit with the organization, and trying not to fall flat on my face. In the midst of all of this, I know that I wasn't doing my job perfectly - I had only worked there 4 months. But lordy, I was trying.
I was starting to develop about an iota of self-confidence when, one morning, my manager comes into my office and says "don't worry about the email - I don't believe any of it". I hadn't had time to check my email yet that day (working too hard), so I looked. I had received an anonymous email from someone that I had done some work for in the company. It was cc:'d to my manager and basically said that I was incapable of doing my job and that I should either be fired or I should be assigned someone to oversee everything that I did.
Looking back now, I know that it was all crap. Honestly, though I made mistakes, I was doing my job with just the same amount of proficiency as anyone would have, given 4 months experience. And, I would say that I was doing better than many would have in my position. I am still angered that the person who sent the email didn't have the guts to talk to me or my manager personally. Cowardly.
I guess that comments on blogs don't quite fall into the same category. And I guess that we all leave the comment section on our blogs active for one reason - it allows us to gain valuable insight and advice from people that are in the (relatively) same position that we are. And I need to remember that simply having buried a baby does not make any of our collective life circumstances identical beyond that one fact.
But, honestly, I am a nice person. Honest.