When I read the thoughts of other moms with similar experiences, it helps me to understand myself and my reactions a little better. So I must write in response to Catherine's recent post.
I think I understand what Catherine is talking about here, and I really appreciate the opportunity to think about what she is saying. It is all just so impossible to truly comprehend. If I lose this baby, I cannot tell you how I will react. Have I considered the possibility? Yes. Fully? Probably not. Will I survive? No choice.
But what it comes down to for me, I think, is that I am something of a hopeful person. In the middle of all of the worst, I still carry a beacon of hope. Today, I find that I am cheerful. I am buying baby clothes and looking at the few nursery items we have decided we still need (want). I am working really, really hard at saying when instead of if.
I am absolutely not saying that what Catherine wrote about is untrue; in fact, it is probably quite true in my case. But there is something in my personality that forces me focus on the chance that we will bring home baby and rages against the possibility of anything else.
Catherine, thank you for sharing this.