Saturday, March 15, 2008

Lifestyles of... me.

Last night I organized our pen drawer. I went through about 300 pens/pencils, throwing out pens that don't work and sharpening all the pencils. Fun times on a Friday night.

Go and read Julia's post. You'll probably need a box of tissues; I did. I found this so moving. When C. died/was born, my niece was 5 years old. She idolized me. She always wanted to pet and hug my belly. I was so excited for her to meet her cousin and she was too. But because I am not her parent, I have not been the one to walk through the mess of emotions with her. Three years later, we have lost the closeness we once shared. I don't know if it was because she felt that I let her down, if she was afraid to be around me in case she upset me, or if it was natural for her to outgrow her auntie. Sadly, the relationship we once had with her parents has lost it's footing, too. There is a lot of pain in my soul for that loss.

Totally unrelated? I posted more pictures of BB on the other site (the first time since before Christmas). And video. Check him out - he is such the toddler these days.

4 comments:

niobe said...

Sad, but true. Before the twins died, I was quite close to my parents and my various siblings and step-siblings. Now (except for one brother), I very rarely see or speak to any of them. I regret the loss of my relationships with my family almost as much as I regret the loss of the twins.

Aussie Kate said...

LOVE the story about you spending Friday night doing the pens. I often laugh to myself when I spend Friday night cleaning the gunk out of B's sippy cup spout ;) What exciting lives we lead.

Julia said...

Thank you for your kind words.
And I am so sorry about your niece and her parents. The thousand little cuts that come with-- those are just unnecessary and make me very very sad, for all of us. I am sorry.

Rae said...

oh my gosh i am going to keel over from the cuteness.