Tuesday, October 30, 2007

All Hallows Eve

Tomorrow.

So sad.

Why?

I was so excited that Halloween of 2004, walking through the local Walmart, forcing myself not to buy the little pumpkin costume that was winking beguilingly at me. I don't know what size to get, I thought, and convinced myself to wait until next year, when I knew how big he would be.

There was no Halloween costume next year.

The cyclical nature of our lives leaves a date/time stamp on the psyche, whether I like it or not. I had to stop today and figure out why I felt like bawling - even though I was holding the cutest little Monkey at the costume party. And there it was. No big brother to pull the Monkey's tail.

4 comments:

niobe said...

We can't escape these memories, can we? And there are so many of them.

Rosepetal said...

(((hugs)))
and in relation to your last post, why, the sort of mother who went through the horrific loss of her first child, that's the sort of mother who thinks like that.

Monica said...

I know this feeling well. Jimmy was due on August 9th so I didn't know if I should get 0-3 or 3-6 mos. So I didn't buy a costume. Good thing. He died Aug.13th. Just one less outfit I have to look at and feel sad about. But I did buy Andy three Halloween outfits this year AND he got to wear them!!!

Julia said...

Nowhere to turn, nowhere to turn. I am figuring that out right along with you.
I bet the monkey was cute.