I am F'd up. My younger cousin was 3 days past her due date. I was freaking out. Post-date pregnancies are horrifying to me, even though I've never been there. I know the statistics.
The baby arrived safely on Saturday. For which I am grateful. However, relief quickly turned to jealousy and envy. I am resentful that she gets to keep her first baby and I did not.
Nothing I can do to change that set of conflicting, opposite emotions. But I feel those two parts of my psyche warring against each other and it makes me feel like a lunatic.