First of all, I am tired of typing out "my son" every time I refer to him. I can't think of anything cutesy that I want to call him, so we will go with his initial, C. This will hopefully reduce confusion when we get to picking out a name for this creature that currently is punching the living daylights out of my bladder (has his/her dad's sense of humour, I suspect).
Well, I was worried about weight gain. It isn't vanity, it is the "what if". With C., I gained nearly 50 pounds. Most of that happened in the second trimester. One of the arrogant OBs that checked on me during labour, when we already knew we would be delivering a dead baby, implied that his death somehow had to do with this massive weight gain. Mentally, I know that that OB was just an old, nearly-retired quack. Emotionally, I fear he was somehow right. In all of my attempts to blame myself for C.'s death, this is the thing that I can actually peg totally on me - I gained too much weight.
Then I remember how happy all the cakes and pies and cookies that I ate seemed to make C. and I am glad that I was able to spoil my son in that little way. And then I remember that weight gain has no impact on cord compression. And I remember that it all just came off (except 3 pounds) with almost no effort (lack of eating due to grief probably had more to do with it). Perhaps I am genetically programmed to gain more than average while pregnant.
That was perhaps a long and unnecessary preamble to make you understand my scale obsession. I weigh myself daily. Sometimes twice. I know you are supposed to weight yourself once a week, but I feel that it would foolish to go that long without knowing if I was on track for my 1 pound per week recommended gain. Don't worry, I am eating and eating well. I just am not allowing myself all the cakes and pies and cookies that I allowed myself with C.
So I had a bit of a ballooning in weight a few days ago (3 pounds in 3 days), which made me crazy with anxiety. I am thinking I was retaining water or something. I am back down the 3 pounds.
Now, to my S'mores granola bar and banana.
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3 comments:
Ugh, I gained 50 pounds with Nate and one of my husband's busybody aunts told me at the beginning of this last pregnancy--"Don't worry. I'm sure the doctors will really watch your weight this time." Like me gaining a ton of weight caused everything that happened with Nate. Jeez.
It sounds like you're really putting a lot of thought into what is going into your mouth, and I'm sure that you'll thank yourself later when you don't have much to lose. But you gotta let yourself have some treats here and there! :)
I'll send you some cookies!
I gained a tad more than 50 with Kate. A bunch was water, but I think I'm also good at gaining weight.
It sounds like you are eating really well, so if you gain a little more than "standard" it must be because your body needs it.
And a few treats, in moderation, are ok! Especially, if they are Laura's cookies! :)
i gained 40-50 lbs with each baby. With Nicolas i think i gained the least,partly because i really watched it and partly because he died at 34 weeks and i always gain at least 5 lbs in the last 4 weeks. I look like a pig when i am pregnant.
Incidently, because i gained less with Nicolas and watched what i ate so much, i always wonder if that lack of weight gain (only 38 lbs lol) had something to do with his death.
Laura -- some of those chocolate chip ones you made? ;) LOL
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