Yep. Here I am. Ready to admit to the world what has kept me from posting for the last 5 weeks. I am pregnant. 9.5 weeks. And, up to this point, too disbelieving to admit it to many people. So, instead, I have been hiding. Hiding under a veil of nausea in permanent habitation upon my couch.
What, you don't believe me? Here's proof:
Do please note that this air of flippancy is a thinly disguised attempt at concealing moments of abject terror. I actually have a hard time remembering that this little one is actually a baby. The "I am pregnant" part has sunken in - I eat right, take my vitamins, lie about why I am not drinking any alcohol or eating deli salads. It's the "this is a baby, one that may just become a living part of the family" part that I have not, in any way, wrapped my mind around.
We went for an ultrasound last week, and my dates were on within 2 days. It wasn't as terrifying as I expected it to be, though I am still a little miffed that they don't let anyone into the room with you until they have taken their measurements. Tears were shed, but I wasn't as afraid as I thought I would be. And the feeling of joy when I saw the little wiggle (waving, of course) of the baby's movements.
As you may be able to tell, I am forcing myself to approach this experience with joy and anticipation. So far, so good.