My best friend (M.) from high school called this week to tell me that she is expecting her first baby. She and her husband (her high school sweetheart) are very excited.
I expected the call for some time now. It's inevitable, really. When you know that kids are on the "someday" list, the day is sure to come. The people I know just don't have fertility issues or lose babies.
If there is anyone in the world that I could be happy for, it is M. But I am cautious in my happiness. And very worried that she is even considering a h0me birth with a mid-wife. I won't debate the issues surrounding h0me birth; I don't care what you think. I want every single woman in the world to deliver in a fully equipped hospital, and be damned with "good birth experiences".
First babies are so hard for me. But I am happy that M. is happy. She has been the best friend that she could possibly be.
In other news, my event was last night, and it was a resounding success. I think that I can hold my head high over the work that I did, even comparing it to the technically superior work of the other guests. My confidence took a blow over the past two weeks, but I think I am slowly recovering.
Oh. my. god. was it a lot of work, though. Which is part of why I have been missing in action for so long.
But today the sun is shining and the warmth of the sun caresses my face. A good day to visit the cemetery, maybe.
I miss my boy.