Friday, September 07, 2007

Stuff 'n Rambles

He just passed the one hour mark in his nap. Glory be. Please let this be a trend. The whole sleep thing is still kicking my butt.

We start swimming lessons next week. I can't wait. We ended up in the tub together this morning after an explosive diaper incident and BB played and splashed and generally had a good time. (Hey, I wonder if this accounts for the longer nap - bath then bedtime. Does he think it is nighttime? Do I have to bath him before every nap?).

I took him to a mom/tot playgroup yesterday. So fun. It is amazing (if a little sad, considering) to see how much he loves watching the older kids play. Soon, he will be mobile enough to get right in there. He is doing that army-crawl on his tummy now.

Whilst at the playgroup, a very pregnant mom-of-three was discussing her current pregnancy. She had what she referred to as "dry births" with her other two (oligohydramnios, no doubt from her description). Both of those pregnancies went post-term and the babies were 10 pounds+. Her doctor has no plans to induce until at least 10 days past her due date (current Canadian guidelines, she says). Listening to her talk, she is annoyed (because of the continuing discomfort of late pregnancy), but not afraid. I felt sick listening to her.

Should I have interjected, telling her that C.'s death due to cord compression was probably as much to do with the oligohydramnios as the cord around his neck? Should I have told her that lack of fluid presents a real danger relating to cord compression? Should I have told her the warning signs of cord compression? Should I have tried to convince her to insist on a BPP to verify fluid levels and continuing NSTs if they are on the low side? Should I have told her that she has to do regular BPPs, because fluid levels can change without warning? Should I have told her to lie to her doctor if she had to (telling him the baby hasn't been moving much) to get these tests?

Because those are the things I know and those are the things I would do.

I didn't say anything. How do you yell "danger! dead baby alert" across a crowed room of playing toddlers and obliviously, sweetly niave moms?

I will just hate myself if something bad happens. I wonder if I can talk to her about it next week. I know it isn't my responsibility, but I feel the weight of my knowledge like an anvil around my neck.

I guess I don't trust doctors as much as I pretend to when it comes to pregnancy.


Ruby said...

"Mommy & Me" classes are great. My little one loved them!

As for the oblivious mommy; maybe you could start up a conversation and tell her a little about your experience. Then not so much about her, but about you, let her know that you now know what specific things to look for and ask for. It may peak her curiosity about herself.

Monica said...

I struggle with this too regarding the condition that Jimmy had, single umbilical artery. I often get google hits for people looking up SUA. Finally I decided to make a post about it warning them to be induced early and get BPP and NST because the cord is compromised. About this woman. Perhaps you should talk to her alone about it. I'm sure it won't be the first time this happens so you can sort of use it as a test for future instances. If she reacts negatively, you will know not to do it in the future. I just wish someone had told me that Jimmy's SUA was more of a problem than my OB made it out to be.

niobe said...

If this woman has oligohydramnios and if I were you (and quite obviously I'm not), I would call her (if you know her name and number) and give her the information. I wouldn't really care if she reacted negatively. I would want to feel like I had done everything I could to help protect the baby.

But, as I said, I'm just telling you what I would do, not what you should do.

Catherine said...

As someone who just unleashed the kick count necessity on a message board (in a gentle way), I would totally talk to this woman. Maybe she knows the dangers already and is just downplaying her fear. I hope so, for her sake.

froggy mommy said...

I think you should mention it. It's not like you are telling her a horror story to scare her - you KNOW the danger. I think you should call her or approach her privately and mention it to her. If anyone approached me like that, I'd spend some time on google looking into the condition and cord compression, and I'd be calling my doctor to discuss it. It's genuine concern for another mom and her child.

Emma's Mum said...

I have been out of touch for a while, but wanted to thank you for checking in on me. Things are going ok, and my c-section is scheduled for this Friday! I really can't believe it! Still quite scared, but trying to embrace all good thoughts. I put a password protection on my blog for a bit. I will figure out how it invite you to still visit and read. Thanks again for thinking of me and checking in!

Lori said...

This sounds so tough. It's hard to open up a difficult conversation with a virtual stranger. But, maybe there is a way to at least open the door without coming off as too scary?

It's hard to know so much, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Oligohydramnios (low amniotic fluid) and Anhydramnios (no amniotic fluid) do not necessarily mean a death sentence for your baby. Over 70 percent of doctors have no treatment regime for these conditions and for the ones that do, it is almost always termination. I’ve been there. My wife and I were told that in the 1 in a million chance the baby did make it to birth he would be in a much pain because he would be born with nonfunctioning lungs and would die within the hour. We were advised by over 20 doctors that the humane thing to do would be to terminate the pregnancy. Today Sebastian is 20 months old and well acting like a 20 month old. Bottom line is there are multiple options available. First thing you need to do is find a doctor who specializes in high risk pregnancies, a perinatologist not an OBGYN who is willing to take a chance and be your champion. Doctors like Jessica Bienstock at Johns Hopkins and Bruce Young at New York University Hospital. There are many other great ones out there all over the world. If you cannot for any reason work with either of these two doctors, at least have your doctor consult with them. They can explain doctor-to-doctor about Sebastian and his case and treatment. Every week I deal with individuals who are going through this. My email address is Email me and I am happy to discuss what we did and hopefully offer you a bit of hope. Also you can visit Sebastian’s website