Monday, June 25, 2007

Even when you think you are "safe"

My darling husband helped out with a local memorial ceremony this weekend. After it was over, we went for pizza with some of the other people who helped. One (sort of weird) older gentleman asked "Is this your first?"

I bet that was the first time my grief counsellor watched one of her clients field that dreaded question. And I did it with class.

Updated to add: This wasn't a Babyloss Memorial. Just a general memorial. Or else the above would be TOO idiotic!


niobe said...

I'm sure you did it with class. But, uh, what did you say? That is, if you don't mind sharing.

delphi said...

Oh, I said "No, we had a son who died."

He said "I'm sorry."

And that was the end of that conversation, but in a gentle way instead of an awkward way. Maybe I am just getting used to that question...

Lori said...

I was going to ask the same thing as Niobe. I was instantly curious as what you DID say.... since I never know what to say in situations like that.

Whenever I am asked if Baby Girl is my first, I almost always now say, "No, I have two older boys too." In my own mind it isn't a complete copout because I rationalize that I only *have* three children now- even though have *had* five. But I know it will never feel completely right.

Good for you for speaking the truth directly, clearly and with class! Way to go!!