Today I received a super-cute outfit in the mail from an intern that worked for our company last year. It was hard to have her around last year - she was pregnant and due right around the anniversary of C.'s due date. It made me nauseous to see her walking around all pregnant and glowing and happy, but I think that I did okay in treating her nicely despite her pregnancy.
A long letter accompanied her gift. I didn't get to read it until later this evening. Basically, she was reaching out to me after having lost her twin daughters at 17 weeks. Acardiac twins - Twin A's heart gave out because it couldn't support the needs of both of the babies. She had the ultrasound the same day at BB was born.
I will likely call her tomorrow. She was someone who didn't have a clue - though she did try to be sympathetic about C's death. Now, sadly, she knows.
Why did she have to learn this lesson, too?
In January of 2005, my son C. died. Then he was born. These are the 8 million pieces of my life, as I pick them up,one by one.
And now, featuring the addition of our second beautiful child, BB and his lovely sister E.
About Me
Been there, done that
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6 comments:
Isn't it amazing how people are in our lives that we may not necessarily be fond of at that time and then one day be connected to us by something familiar.Did that make sense?
I have just found sometimes that people have crossed my path that I otherwise wouldn't have much in common with and then **bam** something happens that only them and I can relate to. Makes me look up and shrug.
I hope that she finds comfort in talking with you...and that you find comfort in lending an ear to her. I don't know why it happened...but at least she is lucky to have you to turn to for some understanding. {{{hugs}}} to you both.
That is terrible....I am sure she will find comfort and peace speaking with you, but I am so very sorry that she has to experience this.
Oh, i am sorry to hear this. She is in my thoughts...i am sure you will be able to comfort her. What an unusual condition, too -- acardiac twins. I had never even heard of that (and that's saying alot)
I wrote a comment to you the other day and it got deleted by the new blogger sign in deal. Dammit. Cleaning poop off the wall-welcome to newborn parenting 101!! I actually never had to do that. If BB doesn’t dig the pacifier, try a different kind. Better yet buy a few different ones. I hope he takes to it so your nipples can get a little rest. Ouch. We got a swing when we were trying to get my newborn son off the human pacifier and we watched the clock to try to stretch out the feedings. No fun but glad to hear you are fully engaged in the world of live babies.
The issue s with your mom sound awful. Ugh. The prospect of that “conversation” that wouldn’t help anyway sounds so very painful. Take care of yourself in this situation however you can.
I totally relate to the vague offers of help. When we had our second child we resolved that when people offered help we would basically say, “That sounds great. Let’s put that on the calendar” or something like that. There may be ways to respond to offers that can encourage the person to follow through but it is so hard to do. Maybe next time somebody offers say, “Well actually I could really use help with ….” But clearly you can’t say you need help cleaning your bathroom. It’s a really hard thing and it made me feel lonely and isolated when people vaguely offered to help and then I never heard from them again.
By the way, did you get a package from me yet?
I'm so sorry that this happened to her as well. Like you said, now she knows. Why did she have to know as well?
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