Five years. Holy crap.
We made it through. It was okay. We had our family day and ate cake in C's honour. We made our annual trip to the cemetery and didn't have to deal with sub-Arctic weather. It was almost a good day.
I should have posted on his actual birthday, but I was too damn tired. His birthday is smack in the middle of a week that begins with my birthday, is centered around his brother's birthday, and ends with his grandmother's birthday. It's a lot. I was tired.
I miss him. I am overwhelmed by the unfairness of his birthday celebration. I am almost angry when I think of our family photo of the day: sitting in a snow bank next to a granite memorial. I still ask "why". I don't ask so often anymore, but I still ask. Why him? Why me?
He was so beautiful.