I suppose you might not know me...

...because we haven't really met. I am sorry about that, I really am. You only see snippets of me here. I don't really do memes and I don't write about things that are not grief related. Really, my policy for myself is to keep the blog very uni-dimensional, so that the whole anonymity thing can be maintained.

But here is something about me, something that make give me up entirely to those consumed with knowing my identity:

A radio host just said that Schubert's Trout Quintet was "not written for five fish" and I keep repeating it in my head and laughing out loud.

God, that's funny.


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Recent OB report: Baby is measuring a bit big, good blood flow in the heart and cord, starting to do weekly NSTs (because, why not?), he won't let me go past 38 weeks. All very good things, to my ears. I am working very hard to ignore hiccups as much as possible. My mental health is quite good on days when I get enough sleep. My physical is equally good, having an excellent massage therapist who is keeping all aches and pains at bay.

Now to actually make room in our house for another body. I am cleaning and purging and organizing my tail off. If the universe isn't going to comply and arrange for a larger house at an affordable price in the perfect neighbourhood, then I had better get things ready in this house.

Hiccups

So the fetal hiccups have begun in earnest. Please don't make me explain why that is upsetting. I am sure I have blogged about it before, but am much too tired to look for the post. Here is my internal dialogue:

This is when they start. Sometimes hiccups are just hiccups. You have weeks to go before it is safe for baby to come. What are you going to do, start again with the charts and the timers? What if our great new OB thinks that I am a nut job for believing this whole hiccup hypothesis? What if I lose my mind over all of this and have to go on stress leave?

Yep. Fun times.

Remember, self, that fetal hiccups ARE normal. Even multiple episodes of hiccups CAN be normal.

Perhaps this is where the anxiety starts to ramp up. It was bound to happen. I was far too zen.

Obsession

Well, in my previous pregnancy, my obsessions varied. Mostly they were related to all things baby. I shopped obsessively, I read blogs, I did insanely detailed hourly kick-counts, I read everything I could about prevention of stillbirth, etc. etc. etc.

This time, the obsession is houses. As in, a new house for us. I have struggled with this problem for quite a long time: our house is small and old and it would be expensive to renovate, but we like our neighbourhood. Also, we are in a sellers market.

So, these days, you will find me haunting the MLS website. And obsessing about whether or not we will find ourselves a new house that ticks all the boxes. Though it will be possible to stay in our house for quite some time, even with a new baby in the mix, I think it is the right financial choice for our family to invest in something more suitable.

My other obsession is food. More to the point, cooking. I went through a cake obsession during birthday week (for obvious reasons), now have moved on to breads. I tried a risotto, but didn't have the right ingredients. BB wouldn't eat it. I threw out the leftovers.

Are you obsessing about anything these days??